I’m feeling pretty damn hard done by.

I have a terrible confession.

I am in love.

Completely head over heals in love. That in itself is not terrible, but what is terrible is it that I haven’t told the subject of my affections how I feel about her (and yes, she is a girl, a real-life human female).

I love Lily Allen.

Everyone Loves Lily Allen (including me)
Everyone Loves Lily Allen

As in, I am in love with her. I want to walk down the street and just hold her hand, maybe share a hot chocolate and laugh and giggle at the other couples we see each day.

I would take her back to mine, attempt to cook her something complicated, but just end up drinking a bottle or two of fine plonk and talking total bollocks until she falls asleep with her head in my lap.

They I would carry her to bed, and whisper that I love her, and not just because her dad can introduce me to New Order.

Then I would fall asleep and dream of Katy Perry.

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